2017 Do-it-yourself New Year’s wine resolutions

What better way to start the new year than with the Wine Curmudgeon’s fourth annual Do-it-yourself New Year’s wine resolutions?

Because, frankly, right about now we’re tired of stories about wine trends, what we’re going to drink this year, and how cool wine will be in 2017.

Just click on the drop-down menus and select your wine resolutions for the new year. Those who get the blog via email or RSS will need to click this link to go the blog to use the menus. The 2017 $10 Hall of Fame will post on Friday.

In 2017, I’m going to drink:
cheaper wine than last year, because that’s the best wine possible.more expensive wine than last year, because that’s the best wine possible.only 90 point wines, because that’s the best wine possible.the wine will get me drunk the quickest, which is what I think is the best possible.

In 2017, I’ll be part of the premiumization trend and drink more expensive wine because:
the Wine Curmudgeon writes so much about it that must be true.everyone but the Wine Curmudgeon knows expensive wine is better than cheap wine.I always drink what the Winestream Media tells me to drink.those wines will help me get drunk the quickest.

In 2017, I’m going to drink more rose:
Not. Friends don’t let friends drink pink.so the Wine Curmudgeon will stop harping about it and write about the high alcohol, over-oaked chardonnay that I like.so I can be a hipster dude and grow one of those scraggly beards.because it will get me drunk the quickest.

In 2017, I’m going to drink less white wine because:
I’ll be drinking more rose. Didn’t you read the last question?I read that study that says red wine gets higher scores.it’s easier to order in a restaurant. Who can pronounce viogner?it doesn’t help me get drunk the quickest.

In 2017, I will buy:
more wine, as long as the Wine Curmudgeon doesn’t recommend it.less wine that the Wine Curmudgeon recommends, because he’s an idiot.more craft beer and spirits, because the Wine Curmudgeon turned me off wine with all his bellyaching.only the wine that will get me drunk the quickest.

More New Year’s wine resolutions:
• Do-it-yourself New Year’s wine resolutions 2016
• Do-it-yourself New Year’s wine resolutions 2015
• Do-it-yourself New Year’s wine resolutions 2014