Tag Archives: New Year’s wine resolutions

The Wine Curmudgeon’s 11th — and final — annual Do-it-yourself New Year’s wine resolutions.

This was always one of my favorite features, which is why I kept doing it even though Substack didn’t allow the necessary coding. So, one final time — click on the drop-down menus and select your wine resolutions for the new year.  As always, thanks to Al Yellon, since I stole the idea from him.

In 2024, I will:
give up wine, because it’s the healthy thing to do.drink low-alcohol wine, because it’s the healthy thing to do.drink canned cocktails, because they’re supposed to be more hip.wonder why, if I drink in moderation, any of this matters.

In 2024, I will try to understand:
why the Neo-Prohibitionists want to ban drinking in moderation.how the wine business ended up in this position.why anyone thinks Prohibition would work this time.Understand? Understand what? I just want to know the wine’s score.

In 2024, I will buy:
less wine, because it’s too expensive.more expensive wine, since I’m one of the 1%.about the same amount of wine, because moderation.anything but wine. Where are the canned cocktails?

In 2024, I will drink:
different wines, so can I explore new grapes and regions.the wine that gets the highest score. Why even ask?whatever is on sale. Why even ask?with intelligence and good taste, because that’s what the WC did.

In 2024, I will:
miss the WC and his intelligence and good taste.welcome the WC’s departure — what a crank.ponder what the WC’s departure means for wine.ask, “WC? What’s a WC?”

More New Year’s wine resolutions:
• Do-it-yourself New Year’s wine resolutions 2023
• Do-it-yourself New Year’s wine resolutions 2022
• Do-it-yourself New Year’s wine resolutions 2021

Photo: “The panel answering media questions” by Oracle PR is licensed under CC BY 2.0.

The Wine Curmudgeon’s 10th annual Do-it-yourself New Year’s wine resolutions. Let’s start 2023 off with a few giggles.

Just click on the drop-down menus and select your wine resolutions for the new year.  And, as always, thanks to Al Yellon, since I stole the idea from him — and he has never once complained (and still has to write about the Cubs).

In 2023, I will:
lobby for ingredient labels, because it’s the right thing to do.oppose ingredient labels, because wine doesn’t need them.drink Bud, because it has an ingredient label.wonder what wine is hiding by not listing ingredients.

In 2023, I will try to learn:
more about sulfites in wine, since ingredient labels are coming.how I can find 92 point wine for $15. Who cares about ingredients?why sulfites give me wine headaches, since I only drink a bottle a night.if sulfites are vegan.

In 2023, I will buy:
more interesting wine with lower alcohol.15 percent alcohol wine, because 95 points.“healthy wine,” so I can still drink a bottle a night.anything but wine. Where’s the kombucha?

In 2022, I will try to support:
local wineries, which will make the WC happy.whatever winery gets 95 points.sustainable and natural wine, because the planet.any retailer with a sale on hard seltzer

In 2023, I expect wine prices:
to increase, thanks to premiumization.to increase, but who cares? I’m only worried about scores.to increase, because “healthy” wine should be expensive.to decrease. Who drinks that junk anyway!

More New Year’s wine resolutions:
• Do-it-yourself New Year’s wine resolutions 2022
• Do-it-yourself New Year’s wine resolutions 2021
• Do-it-yourself New Year’s wine resolutions 2020

Photo: Gus Moretta via Unsplash

The Wine Curmudgeon’s ninth annual Do-it-yourself New Year’s wine resolutions. Welcome to 2022, wine drinkers!

Just click on the drop-down menus and select your wine resolutions for the new year.  And, as always, thanks to Al Yellon, since I stole the idea from him — and he has never once complained.

In 2022, I will:
observe Dry January, since it’s cool.observe Dry January and Sober October, because I believe in health.ignore Dry January and the like, since I drink in moderation.drink my usual, and that isn’t bougie wine

In 2022, I will try to learn more about wine:
Of course, because I need to know about toasty and oaky.Of course not, because I’m an old white guy and I already know everything.Probably not, since I can’t afford the WC’s subscription.Not! Wine is so bougie!

In 2022, I will buy:
more wine, because pandemic drinking.the exact same wine I always buy, since I’m an old white guy.less wine, since prices keep going up and quality keeps going down.anything but bougie wine!

In 2022, I will try to visit:
a local winery, since Drink Local.Napa wineries, since I’m an old white guy.one of those urban wineries, since they have bands.a craft brewery. Wine is so bougie!

In 2022, cans and PET bottles will:
become more popular, because the environment.suck, because heavy bottles — I’m an old white guy.show up on the WC blog way too often.Who cares about bougie wine?!

More New Year’s wine resolutions:
• Do-it-yourself New Year’s wine resolutions 2020
• Do-it-yourself New Year’s wine resolutions 2020
• Do-it-yourself New Year’s wine resolutions 2019

Photo: Polina Tankilevitch from Pexels

The Wine Curmudgeon’s eighth annual, Do-it-yourself New Year’s wine resolutions 2021. Because, Dry January — and who knew it would ever be a thing?

Just click on the drop-down menus and select your wine resolutions 2021 for the new year. Those who get the blog via email or RSS may need to click this link to go the blog to use the menus. (As always, thanks to Al Yellon, since I stole the idea from him.)

In 2021, my wine buying will:
decrease significantly, since I can’t afford these prices.increase significantly, since I’m an old white guy. So shut up.stay about the same — unless it doesn’t.What wine buying? Dry January!

In 2021, I’ll try different kinds of wines:
Of course, because that’s the fun of wine.Of course not, because I’m an old white guy and 92 points or nothing.Probably not, since the supermarket wine is the same old, same old.What wine? Dry January!

In 2021, I’ll pay more attention to wine and health:
Maybe, if only because pandemic drinking worries me.Hell no. I’m an old white guy, and I want my 92 point wine.Of course, since drinking wine is as bad as cigarette smoking.What wine and health? Dry January!

In 2021, I will buy more wine on-line:
I think so, since I don’t need a mask to do it.Only if it’s 92 points and overpriced, since I’m an old white guy.Not me — my state still thinks Prohibition is a good idea.What wine on-line? Dry January!

In 2021, I think wine will:
regain its popularity — thanks young people.Who cares? I’m an old white guy, and I drink 92 point winebecome less popular, thanks to high prices and the tariff.What wine? Dry January!

More New Year’s wine resolutions:
• Do-it-yourself New Year’s wine resolutions 2020
• Do-it-yourself New Year’s wine resolutions 2019
• Do-it-yourself New Year’s wine resolutions 2018

Photo: “New Years Resolutions (1/52)” by lucidtech is licensed under CC BY 2.0

The Wine Curmudgeon’s Do-it-yourself New Year’s wine resolutions 2020 — the seventh annual. Because we need all the laughs we can get given high prices, crummy wine, and the tariff.

Just click on the drop-down menus and select your wine resolutions 2020 for the new year. Those who get the blog via email or RSS may need to click this link to go the blog to use the menus.

In 2020, I’ll drink:
about the same amount of wine.significantly less wine, because I want to be healthy.significantly more wine, because I’m a Baby Boomer and the wine business needs me.White Claw!

In 2020, I’ll spend:
the same amount of money on wine as last year.significantly less on wine, since I want to be healthy.significantly more on wine, because I’m a Baby Boomer and the wine business needs me.lots of money on White Claw!

In 2020, the wine tariff:
will mean I drink less wine, since it will be more expensive.won’t affect me, because I’m a Baby Boomer and the wine business needs me.is a good idea, even if it destroys the wine business in the U.S. and Europe.What wine tariff? White Claw!

In 2020, wine quality:
will improve, because how much worse can it get?will stay about the same same, because smooth is a good thing.won’t affect me, because I’m a Baby Boomer and the wine business needs me.What wine quality? White Claw!

In 2020, wine will:
become less popular, thanks to health concerns.become less popular, thanks to high prices and the tariff.remain popular, because I’m a Baby Boomer and the wine business needs me.Wine? White Claw!

More New Year’s wine resolutions:
• Do-it-yourself New Year’s wine resolutions 2019
• Do-it-yourself New Year’s wine resolutions 2018
• Do-it-yourself New Year’s wine resolutions 2017

The Wine Curmudgeon’s sixth annual Do-it-yourself New Year’s wine resolutions — because in 2019, w’re going to need all the help we can get

Just click on the drop-down menus and select your wine resolutions for the new year. Those who get the blog via email or RSS may need to click this link to go the blog to use the menus.

In 2019, I’m going to follow trends and:
drink pet-nap and natural wine, even though I don’t know what it is.explore wine from weird places, even though I can’t buy it where I live.buy organic and biodynamic wine, even though it’s not for sale where I live.buy wine recommended by hipster reviewers, even though I don’t understand the reviews.

In 2019, I’ll buy more wine at:
the grocery store, because it’s easier and there is lots of smooth wine.the chain wine store, because they’re good guys and they recommend smooth wine.my local wine shop, because they actually care about quality and value.an Internet site, because the wine is so cheap it doesn’t matter if it’s nasty.

In 2019, I’m going to read the Wine Curmudgeon because:
I like to leave nasty comments since I know more about wine than he does.I like to leave nasty comments even though I don’t know anything about wine.I like to read the nasty comments that other people leave.he actually cares about quality and value.

In 2019, I’m going to drink:
water, because drinking any wine at will kill me.less wine, because of the health thing (unless the wine is really smooth).more wine, since I’m going to die anyway.whatever I want, since I’m tired of the foolishness about health and wine.

In 2019, I will buy:
more wine, because I’m a Baby Boomer — if I don’t, who will?less wine. because I did wine last year and it’s so 2018.the same monthly bottle or two at the grocery store, but only if it’s smooth.wine that emphasizes quality and value. Otherwise, what’s the point?

More New Year’s wine resolutions:
• Do-it-yourself New Year’s wine resolutions 2018
• Do-it-yourself New Year’s wine resolutions 2017
• Do-it-yourself New Year’s wine resolutions 2016

The Wine Curmudgeon’s fifth annual Do-it-yourself New Year’s wine resolutions — because some things about the wine business never change no matter how much we wish they did.

Just click on the drop-down menus and select your wine resolutions for the new year. Those who get the blog via email or RSS may need to click this link to go the blog to use the menus.

In 2018, I’m going to drink:
less wine, because I’m tired of wine and paying too much money for it.more wine, because that’s the only way to get drunk. And isn’t that our goal?about the same amount of wine, because that’s what I always do.hardly any wine, because I’m not a Baby Boomer and wine doesn’t interest me.

In 2018, I’ll try to educate myself about wine:
That way, I can find the best values.I’m tired of not understanding what all that silly winespeak on the labels means.How else will I know when the Wine Curmudgeon is wrong so I can leave a nasty comment?I won’t, because I’m not a Baby Boomer and wine doesn’t interest me.

In 2018, I’m going to drink more rose:
Because if I do, maybe the Wine Curmudgeon will shut up about it.But only if it tastes like red wine.Because it’s getting to be the only cheap wine that’s any good any more.But for cocktails, because I’m not a Baby Boomer and wine doesn’t interest me.

In 2018, I’m going to make wine part of a healthy lifestyle:
Because of its heart-healthy benefits.Because wine in moderation has health benefits.I won’t, because wine is evil and the CDC says we should stop drinking.I won’t, because I’m not a Baby Boomer and wine doesn’t interest me.

In 2018, I will buy:
more cheap wine, because the Wine Curmudgeon knows what he writes about.more expensive wine, because I’m a wine snob and proud of it.more expensive wine with high scores, because I’m the ultimate wine snob.hardly any wine at all,because I’m not a Baby Boomer and wine doesn’t interest me.

More New Year’s wine resolutions:
• Do-it-yourself New Year’s wine resolutions 2017
• Do-it-yourself New Year’s wine resolutions 2016
• Do-it-yourself New Year’s wine resolutions 2015