Tag Archives: New Year’s wine resolutions

What better way to start the new year than with the Wine Curmudgeon’s fourth annual Do-it-yourself New Year’s wine resolutions?

Because, frankly, right about now we’re tired of stories about wine trends, what we’re going to drink this year, and how cool wine will be in 2017.

Just click on the drop-down menus and select your wine resolutions for the new year. Those who get the blog via email or RSS will need to click this link to go the blog to use the menus. The 2017 $10 Hall of Fame will post on Friday.

In 2017, I’m going to drink:
cheaper wine than last year, because that’s the best wine possible.more expensive wine than last year, because that’s the best wine possible.only 90 point wines, because that’s the best wine possible.the wine will get me drunk the quickest, which is what I think is the best possible.

In 2017, I’ll be part of the premiumization trend and drink more expensive wine because:
the Wine Curmudgeon writes so much about it that must be true.everyone but the Wine Curmudgeon knows expensive wine is better than cheap wine.I always drink what the Winestream Media tells me to drink.those wines will help me get drunk the quickest.

In 2017, I’m going to drink more rose:
Not. Friends don’t let friends drink pink.so the Wine Curmudgeon will stop harping about it and write about the high alcohol, over-oaked chardonnay that I like.so I can be a hipster dude and grow one of those scraggly beards.because it will get me drunk the quickest.

In 2017, I’m going to drink less white wine because:
I’ll be drinking more rose. Didn’t you read the last question?I read that study that says red wine gets higher scores.it’s easier to order in a restaurant. Who can pronounce viogner?it doesn’t help me get drunk the quickest.

In 2017, I will buy:
more wine, as long as the Wine Curmudgeon doesn’t recommend it.less wine that the Wine Curmudgeon recommends, because he’s an idiot.more craft beer and spirits, because the Wine Curmudgeon turned me off wine with all his bellyaching.only the wine that will get me drunk the quickest.

More New Year’s wine resolutions:
• Do-it-yourself New Year’s wine resolutions 2016
• Do-it-yourself New Year’s wine resolutions 2015
• Do-it-yourself New Year’s wine resolutions 2014

The new year means it’s time for the Wine Curmudgeon’s third annual Do-it-yourself New Year’s wine resolutions. Just click on the drop-down menus and select your wine resolutions for 2016. Those who get the blog via email or RSS may have to go the website to use the menus. The 2016 $10 Hall of Fame will post on Friday.

In 2016, I’m going to drink:
whatever wine I want, because everyone’s palates are different.only white wine, because I don’t want to try anything different.only red wine, because I don’t want to try anything different.whatever wine will get me drunk the quickest.

In 2016, sweet red wine will:
become less important, because the Winestream Media will ignore it.become more important, because Big Wine is going to make more of it.annoy the Wine Curmudgeon because none of it will say sweet on the label.be the wine that helps me get drunk the quickest.

In 2016, I’m going to buy local wine:
Not. Who makes good local wine, anyway?because I’ve been to the winery and they were nice to me.so I can complain about how crappy and overpriced it is.because it will get me drunk the quickest.

In 2016, the most important wine trend will be:
rose, because the Wine Curmudgeon likes it.pinot noir, because it’s red and that’s all I drink.how much the wine costs, so I can brag about how much I spend.finding the wine that gets me drunk the quickest.

In 2016, I will buy:
more wine, because I have found more wine I like.less wine, because wine sucks and I like craft beer.only wine from Trader Joe’s, because it’s all cheap.only the wine that will get me drunk the quickest.

More New Year ?s wine resolutions:
? Do-it-yourself New Year ?s wine resolutions 2015
? Do-it-yourself New Year ?s wine resolutions 2014