Wine to drink when you’ve had quite enough of spam phone calls

Three quality cheap wines to drink so you don’t break the phone, hurt the dog, or destroy a lamp

Spam phone calls, already annoying, have blown up in Dallas in the past month since our deadly winter storm. We were already getting them for auto warranties, home improvement, Google business search, credit offers (“Don’t hang up!”), and people who want to buy your house. The storm added more home improvement calls, as well as those for solar panels (“Never be without electricity again!”)

Ah, how post-modern and entrepreneurial is that, scamming money out of death and misery? Because, of course, being rich is all that matters.

The Wine Curmudgeon understands why we can’t stop stop spam. But I also have to answer the phone when it rings, even if I don’t recognize the number. Editors don’t take kindly to being ignored.

So I’ve decided to solve the problem as only the Wine Curmudgeon can – wine to drink when you’ve had quite enough of spam phone calls. The idea is to keep quality cheap wine on hand so that, if the calls become too overwhelming, you have a way to calm down. It’s much less counter-productive to drink a glass of wine than to throw the phone across the room and break it – as well as a lamp and possibly the dog’s head.

So here are three wines to drink if you’ve had quite enough of spam phone calls:

• Scarpetta Frico Rosato 2019 ($10, purchased, 12%): Italian rose that is so well-made that I don’t even mind the pig on the label. It’s almost savory, with lemon and unripe dark berry fruit, as well as clean and long on the finish. Highly recommended. Imported by USA Wine West

• Cellier des Dauphins Reserve Blanc 2019 ($10, purchased, 14%): This French white from the Rhone is almost geeky – some oiliness from the viognier in the blend, some lime from the grenache blanc, and even a bit of spice. Imported by Plume Ridge

• Chronic Cellars Sir Real Cabernet Sauvignon 2019 ($15, sample, 14.8%): This California red seems to be everything I can’t stand about 21^st century wine – high alcohol, too cute name, and even more too cute label. Which is why the first rule of wine criticism is to drink the wine before you judge it. In fact, the Sir Real is not hot, not full of sweet fruit, and even has the proper sort of tannins. It’s firmly in the Paso Robles style, which means rich and full, but also very well done. Highly recommended.

Photo: “Yesterday’s Call” by Vincent_AF is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0