Tag Archives: wine videos

“I guess I’m not ready to be an adult”

Haven’t all of us tried to ferment grape juice into wine?

A Los Angeles animator, using the nom de plume JavaDoodles on YouTube, understands this wine thing pretty well. His short video, describing what happens when one leaves a bottle of grape juice in a dark closet, is more than familiar to the WC. I did this shortly after I started writing about wine, because isn’t what all all wine writers should do?

And though there was no disc of mold, my result was equally as disgusting.

The other key here? That wine is associated with being an adult, which may be yet another reason why younger, legal-age consumers, drink something else. Who wants to be an adult?

It’s also worth noting that using Java for animations is especially geeky — something else the WC can appreciate.

Searching for the rare winocorn

More wine humor that’s actually funny

Long ago, before the tech wiseguys appropriated the term “unicorn,” it was a ’70s hippie thing that meant almost the complete opposite (see pre-Raphalite and “The Lady of Shalott“). Which Sweet Charity Smith on YouTube apparently knows. How else to explain her hunt for a winocorn?

So why all the literary and poetic allusions? Because the hunt for a winocorn reminds me of the time before premiumization and consolidation, and when quality $10 wine was not a unicorn in and of itself.

Besides, it’s funny.

TV wine ads: Did Bolla get it right 41 years ago?

The Wine Curmudgeon’s decades-long survey of TV wine ads has found few worth watching; most are either sappy, miss the point, or rely on stupid humor. Or, since this is wine, all three.

So why does this 41-year old Bolla ad work? Because I know the uneven quality of Bolla wines (they were my dad’s favorite) and I know how difficult it is to make quality cheap wine from the trebbiano grape. And I still wanted a glass.

Why is that? Because, in less than 30 seconds, the ad shows wine as it should be shown — simple, enjoyable, and fun. There isn’t any fake appeal to being posh, there isn’t any talk about awards or medals, and there isn’t any winespeak. Frankly, I can’t remember the last time I saw an ad that did just this.

“Crisp.” “Dry.” “Delightful.”

Damn. Who knew it could that simple?

Video courtesy of ewjxn via YouTube

TV wine ads: When in doubt, use sex

Maybe sex is the answer to wine’s demographic problem

Regular readers here know the abysmal state of wine advertising, which has been documented on the blog many times. Having said that, the Wine Curmudgeon wonders if this almost 40-year-old ad wouldn’t solve many of wine’s marketing problems.

In a word, sex.

This ad, for a long-gone French white of middling quality called Valbon, isn’t subtle. Which, if nothing else, is a relief given the rest of the wine ads we’ve looked at over the years. Drink this, says the woman, and your sex life will improve tremendously: “Now, I play grown-up games.”

How’s that for a message for the viewer to take away?

Also note the woman’s age – the demographic that isn’t much interested in wine any more. Seriously – change her hairstyle, make the dress a littler more current, and do we have something here to work with?

Planet of the Grapes

“You maniacs – you finally did it … no more cheap wine!”

The Wine Curmudgeon has a soft spot for Charlton Heston’s science fiction trilogy, of which 1968’s “Planet of the Apes” is the most interesting (1973’s “Soylent Green” has its moments, while 1971’s “Omega Man” is just cheesy). In fact, I’ve tried to sell several freelance stories about it, but editors are a hardhearted bunch.

So, instead — bring on the WC’s “Planet of the Apes” wine parody, focusing on the final scene. Because, if you’re going to steal, steal from the best.

My apologies to Heston; director Franklin J. Schaffner; and most especially to the great Rod Serling, who co-wrote the screenplay and – by most accounts – is responsible for the final scene. Frankly, anyone who ever watched a “Twilight Zone” episode would know the final scene is Serling’s work.

A tip o’ the WC’s fedora to Movieclips on YouTube, where I found the original. And all silliness like this owes a debt to WineParody, whose Robert Parker epic is the standard by which these things are judged.

Finally, this effort is possible only through the work of Aaron Bratcher, film editor extraordinaire, who pieced my idea together. That’s why we have voices this time instead of subtitles, which has been the case for the previous parodies. Meanwhile, my long-time friend John Bratcher takes on Heston and is superb. It was worth waiting 20 years to hear him act again.

Churro, the blog’s associate editor, contributed to this post by barking at Lady Liberty while Heston was beating the sand. I’m not the only film critic in the family.

More wine parodies:
• Star Trek: The Next Generation
• Enter the Dragon
• 2001: An Expensive Wine Odyssey

Drinking wine in the rain

Just in case you ever wondered what that was like — because we all have, right?

Someone on YouTube, using the name Itz Memo, understands wine humor in a way that so few others do (which, sadly, we’ve documented entirely too often on the blog).

First, there’s the tremendous look — the long hair, shades, and dark outfit. Then, there’s the swirling, followed by splashing wine on the face. Finally, that wonderful glance at the bottle at the end of the video.

Frankly, I wish I had thought of it. Can you see the WC, hat on head, rain fogging up glasses, doing the same thing?

Why young people don’t like wine

“My aunt shared an article on Facebook about wine, so you know it’s legit”

The WC, in his never ending quest to bring young people to wine, has explored back alleys, ventured to three continents, slithered through the Internet, and even looked on YouTube. That’s where I found this, from CollegeHumor.

Yes, it ends predictably, but what comes before says everything that needs to be said. I can’t decide if my favorite part is “aerating the wine,” where the wine ends up spilled on the table, or the faux tasting notes, which had to be borrowed from various Winestream Media reviews. Or, of course, the spit bucket.