
Don’t the Neo-Prohibitionists know that the coffee drink could be even deadlier than wine with dinner?
Dear Neo-Prohibitionists:
Your argument, in trying to bring back abstinence, is that any amount of alcohol is unhealthy and that we’re addicted to booze as if it was heroin or Oxycontin – Mommy Juice and all of that.
So my question: If you’re so concerned about our health, why aren’t you doing studies and issuing warnings about something that is even deadlier than wine?
The return of the Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte.
Because, frankly, that thing scares me to death:
• One serving contains 390 calories, about three times as much as a glass of wine.
• It also has almost half of the recommended daily allowance of saturated fat, about one-fifth of the cholesterol and carbohydrates, 1/10th of the sodium, and more than a third of a day’s safe intake of caffeine.
• Wine, by comparison, contains no fat, no cholesterol, no caffeine, and almost no carbohydrates.
And, since you are so concerned with health, I am sure you know that fat, cholesterol, sodium, and too much sugar (carbs!) are the quickest way to heart disease. Which, as I am also sure you know, is the leading cause of death in the U.S., some 700,000 people each year.
No doubt this has been an oversight on your part, and that we can soon expect studies that say drinking one Pumpkin Spice Latte is the equivalent of smoking a couple of cigarettes, or that two lattes a day is the equivalent of binge drinking. Perhaps you can even coin a term like latte use disorder, based on the wonderfully terrifying “alcohol use disorder.”
So please ponder this the next time you’re in the Starbucks drive-thru, engine idling (and killing the planet), waiting to order your Pumpkin Spice Latte.
Sincerely,
The Wine Curmudgeon














