Tag Archives: TV wine commercials

Schitt’s Creek puts a thumb in wine advertising’s eye

The funny thing about this “Schitt’s Creek” parody is not so much that it’s funny, but that it makes fun of almost every stupid wine ad ever

At first glance, this “Schitt’s Creek” wine commercial parody is funny because it’s “Schitt’s Creek” and it features the great Catherine O’Hara. But watch it again (and maybe again), and you’ll see there’s a lot more going on:

• It’s for fruit wine. Which, given the status fruit wine has in the wine world, is a joke unto itself.

• “In the lee of a picturesque ridge, lies a small, unpretentious winery.” Which, of course, is snotty and pretentious and speaks to almost every bad wine ad the blog has ever dissected.

• An almost dazzling amount of wine geek slang silliness. Some is obvious, “the muskmelon goodness of his oaked chardonnay” and calling a wine a riesling Rioja, which is actually impossible. And some is very geeky, like the term “good fruit.” I can’t tell you how many times I’ve tasted wine, nodded, and used the phrase — and I know better. So you can imagine how common it must be.

• Orson Welles, who may or may not have been drunk during the his legendary Paul Masson commercial.

And, in the end, if it isn’t exactly falling down funny, isn’t that part of the point, too?

A tip o’ the Curmudgeon’s fedora to Churro, the blog’s associate editor, for finding this on YouTube (used courtesy of Schitt’s  Creek)

More about TV wine ads
“We aren’t porn stars anymore:” SNL takes on wine marketing
TV wine ads: Bring on the Hallmark Channel wine! (Yes, that Hallmark Channel)
TV wine ad update: Does Stella Rosa’s sweet fizzy red commercial do what Big Wine can’t?

TV wine ad review: This Premier Estates commercial was so tasteless it was banned

“Taste the Bush” is even dumber than The Roo – which means it could be the worst TV wine ad ever

Yes, there was the Orson Welles ad. And the John Gielgud and the Mateus rose ads. And the Roo, which was in a class of awful all by itself.

Until now. Somehow, despite the Wine Curmudgeon’s eternal vigilance, I missed what is quite possibly the worst TV wine ad ever, Premier Estates’ 2015 campaign for “Taste the Bush.” How bad? It was banned by Australia’s Advertising Standards Authority.

And yes, those of you who are thinking what you’re thinking about why the ad was banned are absolutely correct. Said the ad authority ruling: “…we considered that the ad presented the woman in a degrading manner, and concluded that it was likely to cause serious or widespread offence.”

Indeed. Is it any wonder I worry about the future of the wine business?

Why would anyone think this would sell wine? It’s the kind of snickering, male adolescent humor that was common when the WC was 12. For all their failings, one would think 21st century wine marketers would be well past that.

But apparently not.

So watch the video – but only if you are prepared to be offended. And be glad someone, somewhere, had the good sense and the authority to tell the wine business to grow up.

A tip o’ the Curmudgeon’s fedora to the United Kingdom’s The Wine Merchant magazine, which spotted this ad and included it in a story that featured many of the WC’s all-time worst ads.

More about TV wine ads
TV wine ads: San Giuseppe Wines, because you can never have too much bare skin in a wine ad
TV wine ads: Drink Black Tower, invade a foreign country
Wine business: Watch this beer spot to see how TV wine ads should be done

TV wine ads: Bring on the Hallmark Channel wine! (Yes, that Hallmark Channel)

Only the Hallmark Channel could sell wines named Love, Blush, Jingle, and Joy

Let the jokes and memes begin: The Hallmark Channel has wine. Yes, that Hallmark Channel, home to movies so corny that even those of us who think corny can be a giggle shudder at the mere mention of its name. There are four wines, in fact – Love, Blush, Jingle, and Joy, as well as a commercial to go with the wines.

Sometimes, this stuff really does just write itself.

So, $14 a bottle. Award-winning winemakers. “Custom crafted wines.” Made by Wines that Rock, “the premier lifestyle wine company.” Sold at Cost Plus World Market. …

Ah, nuts to this. How can I possibly write a serious analysis of Hallmark Channel Wine and its TV ad?

So just watch the commercial and marvel at the marketing genius of the people who did this. Because it does seem that they understand their audience and demographic in a way that other wine marketers can only marvel at.

Who else would name a wine Jingle? And, apparently, make money off of it.

More about TV wine ads:
TV wine ads: San Giuseppe Wines, because you can never have too much bare skin in a wine ad
TV wine ads: King Solomon wine, because “Tonight … the king is in town”
TV wine ads: Almost 40 years of awful

Video courtesy of Hallmark Channel, via YouTube

TV wine ads: Australia’s Brokenwood Cellars, and how wine commercials haven’t changed in 50 years

Is there really any difference between this 2016 TV wine ad and any made almost 50 years ago? Which is sad, isn’t it?

Remember all those corny 1970s TV wine ads we’ve dissected on the blog? Who knew someone would make the same kind of ad almost 50 years later?

But that’s the case with this effort from Australia’s Brokenwood Cellars, which does everything but call on the shade of Orson Welles to chant, “We will sell no one wine before its time.” Does the narration really say (around 0:30) that Brokenwood makes wine “to be drunk and enjoyed, savored and admired?” What else are we supposed to do with it? Spit it out?

Brokenwood wines aren’t readily available in the U.S., but appear to be critically respected. Which makes the ad that much more difficult to figure out — if you’re already well thought of, why bother with this? It’s the kind of faux image building that less respected brands do to puff up their reputation. If you make quality wine, why gild the lily with a shot of someone’s gnarled hands?

More about TV wine ads:
TV wine ads: Does Stella Rosa’s sweet fizzy red commercial do what Big Wine can’t?
TV wine ads: San Giuseppe Wines, because you can never have too much bare skin in a wine ad
TV wine ads: King Solomon wine, because “Tonight … the king is in town”

Video courtesy of Rollingball Productions via YouTube

TV wine ad update: Does Stella Rosa’s sweet fizzy red commercial do what Big Wine can’t?

Is this spot for Stella Rosa’s sweet fizzy red, Black Lux, more effective TV advertising than anything Big Wine has come up with? Sure seems like it

The blog regularly rants and raves about Big Wine’s pathetic efforts at TV advertising, and especially at its failure to reach younger wine consumers with epics like (shudder) the Roo.

So how did Stella Rosa, owned by a little known Los Angeles wine producer, get this ad right? Because, after all, the company isn’t a huge multi-national with a massive marketing budget and creative geniuses on the payroll.

The secret, to paraphrase the blog’s official wine marketing guru? Stella Rosa knows its audience. Watch this commercial for its Black Lux, a pricey, sweet fizzy Italian red, and you’ll want to buy the wine and make the recipe — even if you don’t like pricey, sweet fizzy Italian reds. The commercial is fun and accessible; who else has paired tomato soup and wine? And it doesn’t hurt that the spot “borrows” its overhead, cooking hands format from popular Millennial cooking shows like Tastemade.

Best yet, the ad is not about making fun of wine snobs or showing impossibly beautiful people drinking wine that they wouldn’t touch unless they were being paid to do it. Because we know how little that has worked — and why we shouldn’t be surprised that Stella Rosa sells more than 2 million cases of wine a year.

Video courtesy of Stella Rosa via YouTube

TV wine ads: Mateus rose — “it’s like a trip to Portugal”

This 1971 Mateus rose ad may explain why it took so long for rose to become popular in the U.S.

Mateus was what passed for rose in those long ago days before the U.S. wine boom — a sweetish, fizzy pink wine from Portugal made with grapes that were obscure even then.

It was huge in the late 1960s and early 1970s, selling some 10 million cases a year. Those are Barefoot numbers, but in a much smaller U.S. wine market. What sold Mateus rose was the bottle — more youth oriented than the traditional 750 ml effort, and perfect for using as a candlestick while drinking the wine and listening to Carole King’s “Tapestry.” In fact, you can buy Mateus bottles on eBay, and the wine itself is still around, too — $5 a bottle, and tasting pretty much like it always has.

The ad misses the point of Mateus’ popularity. Why would Portugal be a selling point for the wine (and the less said about the jingle, the better)? But that it misses the point is not surprising. It is a wine ad, after all.

Video courtesy of robatsea2009 via YouTube

More about TV wine ads:
TV wine ads: San Giuseppe Wines, because you can never have too much bare skin in a wine ad
TV wine ads: King Solomon wine, because “Tonight … the king is in town”
TV wine ads: Almost 40 years of awful

TV wine ads: San Giuseppe Wines, because you can never have too much bare skin in a wine ad

This 2016 ad for San Giuseppe Wines reminds us that when in doubt, flash some skin

One constant throughout the Wine Curmudgeon’s TV wine ad survey has been model-quality men and women baring their skin. Which is exactly the case with this ad for San Giuseppe Wines, an Italian label that sells for about $12. How much longer could the shot last when the guy pulls himself out of the water?

My guess, since the ad is for pinot grigio, is that the swimmer is supposed to appeal to the pinot grigio demographic — the infamous women of a certain age who buy almost all the pinot grigio in the U.S.  The ad’s goal? Get them all hot and bothered so they will race to the store to buy San Giuseppe.

In this, it’s not necessarily any worse than any of the others in our TV wine ad survey. It’s just more of the same. Is it any wonder I worry about the future of the wine business?

Video courtesy of QUE Productions via YouTube

More about TV wine ads:
TV wine ad survey: Hochtaler box wine – even Canadians miss the point?
TV wine ad survey: 1980s Richards Wild Irish Rose
One more example why TV wine ads are so awful