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Tag Archives: wine rants

If you thought winespeak was bad, how does potspeak sound?

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If you thought winespeak was bad, how does potspeak sound?The Wine Curmudgeon, whose crusade against winespeak has been a cornerstone of his work, can only shake his head and sigh. Call it an example of the law of unintended consequences — legalized marijuana in Colorado may well bring with it product reviews written in potspeak.

Or, as the humorist Garry Trudeau imagines it: “This limited-edition artisanal cannabis delivers an unexpectedly smooth high, with just a touch of paranoia. …”

I cringe as I edit this. Artisanal? Limited-edition? Where have we read those before? And how did Trudeau overlook the possibility of “boutique” weed? Or that that the toke had hints of cypress and evergreen with spicy overtones?

What’s next for legalized dope? Scores? A terroir debate? The Potstream Media? The Marijuana Spectator? Blogs called Potography and 1 Dope Dude? Or, and let me warn anyone who thinks of this, because I have lawyers on standby, The Maryjane Curmudgeon?

Downton Abbey claret — wine merchandising for dummies

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downton abbey claretLet’s get the review of the Downton Abbey claret ($17, purchased, 13%) out of the way first: I liked it. It’s a Bordeaux blend with some blueberry fruit and a rough, gritty style that’s typical of cheap French red wine, the sort of thing I’ve been drinking most of my life. In other words, plonk.

The catch, of course, is that it isn’t cheap, costing about twice as much as it’s worth. But that’s the point, isn’t it? That $17 pays for more than the wine. It pays for the experience, and that’s what Carnival Film & Television Ltd., the show’s producers, are counting on. That, and that wine drinkers are as stupid as we’re supposed to be. More, after the jump:

The Do-it-yourself New Year’s wine resolutions for 2014

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new year's wine resolutionsNew Year’s wine predictions, wine advice, wine trends, and the like are as common as $10 grocery store merlot. How does the  Wine Curmudgeon know this? Because I’m almost as guilty as everyone else in doing them — almost being the key, of course.

Hence this opportunity for you to make your own predictions, in the spirit of the very popular Do-it-yourself wine review. Just click on the drop-down menus and your resolutions for 2014 are set (although those of you who get the blog via email or on Facebook may have to go the website to use the menus).

In 2014, I’m going to drink:

In 2014, I’m going to try to learn more about wine by:

In 2014, I’m going to spend:

In 2014, the most important wine trend will be:

In 2014, regional and local wine:

New Year’s resolution image from Joe’s Cafe and wine diet image from Chicane Pictures, using a Creative Commons license

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